Science Is Wrong...

The human race is theorized to have evolved from monkeys, but even a cursory examination of the workings of the human brain reveals the flaw in this "monkey" genesis:

It was obviously squirrels.

I mean, look at the way a human mind works!  Either racing in a lunatic way from point A to point B - by way of Z, G, with a double-back at P 1/2 - or our brain curls up in a metaphorical hollow tree to hibernate until we poke it with a stick.  If our brain does find an idea (seen the pop-eyed, startled look on a squirrel's face with a nut crammed it in its mouth?)...  then it darts here and there, not at all sure what to do with the awkward thing.  Mostly we fruitlessly dig for ideas, chittering a squirrelly, "Here?  There? Where?  Must be one somewhere!