In this case it was the element of jealousy.
Of other writers, designers, creators. Theater is famously rife with this green-eyed problem. Actors, poor dears, are so bad at pretending they're not envious.
Ha! Designers feel the exact same poisonous stew of envy and competition. There's always someone else who gets the show you wanted or the award you think you should have won or - equally unsettling - you suspect that you don't deserve the show or award as much as they do. It really can be a poisonous snake.
Public domain image
The only thing to do is to do your very best work and then to mutter your mantra to your snakey self. For me it's, "I'm in this for the design." (Not the rewards, fame, popularity, whatever.) "I'm in this for the design." Perhaps others are in it for the poor pay or long hours, but I find the reminder that what I want is just the work to be very soothing.
Do it for the work.
Read Ms. Wrede's thoughtful post HERE.