Design Contracts

I'm of the school of thought that: 

If you don't trust 'em, don't work for 'em.

Because, believe me, if your client doesn't want to pay you - or can't - no amount of contract language can make them.  Not even small claims court.  (And I've tried that.  But I said "No" to the TV-judge-court, because that's just tacky.  Long story.)  

Luckily, most people are good people.  

Likewise, if your gut or heart tells you that you're not compatible, believe it.  (Your head will be screaming, "But we need the money!"  Ignore it.)  And, rarely, if you get deep into a project and then discover that you and your client have serious trouble understanding each other or have stopped liking or trusting each other, learn how to leave gracefully.  One of my earlier bosses, an interior designer, taught me to Fire the Client.

This is not to say that every moment working with a wonderful client will be all celestial harmony and mutual admiration... there might be just a few fleeting moments of, um, disagreement.  This is right and natural.  Good.

The website BoingBoing today featured the design firm Segura's wonderful new client contract:

    You give me money, I’ll give you creative. 

    I’ll start when the check clears. 

    Time is money. More time is more money. 

    I’ll listen to you. You listen to me. 

    You tell me what you want, I’ll tell you what you need. 

    You want me to be on time, I want you to be on time. 

    What you use is yours, what you don’t is mine. 

    I can’t give you stuff I don’t own. 

    I’ll try not to be an ass, you should do the same. 

    If you want something that’s been done before, use that.

    PRO BONO 

    If you want your way, you have to pay. 

    If you don’t pay, I have final say.

    Let’s create something great together.

Designers' Revenge

Any designer in any field has heard their share of, um... unhelpful... direction from certain clients.  Sometimes all you can do is smile until they go away and then you can beat your head on the wall to make the pain stop.

(And don't get me started on that rattlesnake rattle of a phrase, "I'm open to other ideas, but..."  Run.  just run.)

Anyway.

In this amusing post, Irish graphic designers actually illustrate - for charity - some of their more memorable client feedback.

I laughed.  But, to tell the truth, some of the satirized client comments sound kinda understandable points of view to me... I mean don't we all want warmer snow?  And this poster, well, you have to ask yourself if the client doesn't have a real point here:

From Sharpsuits.net (thanks themarysue.com for pointing me to this) 

I believe this is fair use as I'm only sampling, attributing it properly, and all for a more-or-less review.  

If the image's owner objects to this use, please let me know and I'll remove it.

Would the banana chip be capable of driving the chocolate submarine?  Really?  Bananas have a, well, slimy character; a raisin, on the other hand, would seem much more mature to me.  A nut?  That'd be crazy.  Hey! wouldn't it make more sense if the banana were the submarine and a chocolate chip were...?

(If you think this is silly, you haven't sat in on enough production meetings.  I have personally debated the airworthiness of Santa's plane ("Oh no Santa!  We're gonna crash!) and taken part in lively discussions about lobster-phones, egg-suits, and the exact texture of baby-flesh.  Which do you think is closer to the proper onstage "chew": portobella mushroom or tofu?)

The site highlights a bunch of classic client howlers - most designers will recognize their own clients.  (Does, "Just like this... but different," ring any bells?)  See more at sharpsuits.net

Gotta get back to my own banana-boat...